


Saturday Morning

by kikiduck



Category: That 70s Show
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Gen, Graduation, High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-26
Updated: 2009-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-02 08:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikiduck/pseuds/kikiduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Steven Hyde's parents left him and he came to live with the Formans, as well as what happens when Hyde's parents show up right before high school graduation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saturday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Written during season five, slightly AU, since the super sekrit E/D engagement is ignored.

It was Saturday morning and Steven Hyde was stretched out on the couch watching cartoons while he ate dry Cheerios out of the box. He wasn't awake enough to really pay attention to the TV, but it was better than sitting in a quiet house. His fingers found nothing but dust in the bottom of the cereal box, and he tossed it onto the floor before wiping his hands off on his shirt.

Footsteps sounded on the front porch as his mother returned home. Friday nights were Edna's late night; she hit the bars after work and usually didn't get home until at least three, if she came home at all. Hyde wasn't sure which was worse, her not coming home at all, or arriving with her friend of the evening, men Hyde derisively referred to as his 'uncles.'

She was alone this morning, and surprised to see her sixteen year old son already awake. "I didn't think you'd be up yet." Edna ground her cigarette out on top of the television.

"Yep." Hyde didn't bother to tell her he'd been out with his friends all night and hadn't come home until six that morning. Edna didn't care what he did, so what was the point? "We're out of cereal."

"Steven, I met this guy last night…"

"Whoa, Edna, I don't want to hear the details."

She rolled her eyes. "No, he's giving me a ride to Topeka."

Hyde righted himself, brushing Cheerio pieces off his t-shirt. "You're going to Topeka, Edna?"

"Yeah." Edna jerked a thumb in the direction of the front yard. "He's waiting, I just stopped to pick up a few things." She disappeared into her bedroom, leaving Hyde alone with Yosemite Sam to figure out what was going on.

Edna hadn't expected him to be awake yet. She had been planning on picking up her stuff and leaving without him ever knowing.

"Steven, there's money in my dresser drawer, go to the grocery store today." She returned with a small bag in one hand, and a lipstick tube in the other.

"Okay… Edna, how long are you going to be gone?" He purposely kept his voice disinterested.

"I really don't know." She reapplied her lipstick and tucked the tube in her purse as she headed for the door.

"Edna!" Hyde pushed himself off the broken couch and hurried after her.

"Look, Steven." Edna turned around as she pulled her cigarette lighter out of her purse. "This is the first good thing to happen to me since your father left!" She reached over with her free hand and patted Hyde on the cheek. "Honey, don't you want me to be happy?"

"Yeah, sure." What else could he possibly say to that? "So, Edna, are you coming back?"

She stopped in the middle of their brown lawn, turning to face him. "Of course I'm coming back. I promise."

"No, you're not." He realized. "Mom, you're leaving, just like Dad did."

~*~

"So, Eric, how was school?" My mother prompted at the dinner table.

"Well, school…" I set my fork down and prepared for my big news. I, Eric Forman, had finally done something right, and I was going to make sure the world knew about it and properly appreciated it. "Actually, that's a really interesting story."

"Hey, didn't you have a math quiz today?" Dad interrupted.

"Yes, yes I did." I nodded. Math, the subject that had ruined Thanksgiving dinner, when my inebriated friend told my parents I was flunking the subject. I love my friends; I can always count on them to completely screw up my life.

"So, dumbass, how'd it go?" Dad glared at me. My dad and I have never gotten along that well. It really all stems from Little League, which I played for three years, and the only hit I got was a fastball in the helmet. And while I may be a twitchy, obnoxious smart-mouthed idiot like he says, he's no joy to live with either. He's a cranky, bald, possibly insane man. Although, I would never actually say that to his face, because he'd kick my ass so hard my nose would bleed.

Lately though, Dad and I have been getting along pretty well. I think it might be because we can both see the light at the end of the tunnel. In six weeks, I graduate high school, and then I'm out on my own at college, and out of Red's house.

"Um, I…" I stared down at my plate, building the suspense.

"IgotanAandthatmeansIgetatleastaCminusfortheclasssoIgraduate!" I reached down for the quiz I'd been saving next to my chair, and showed off the bright red A at the top, just like the five year old dork that I was, deep down inside. Maybe I'd tape it to the fridge door after dinner.

"Well, that's just great!" Dad pounded his fist on the table for emphasis. "See what happens when you buckle down, Eric?"

"A C minus?" Mom said regretfully. "Eric, would it have killed you to get a B?"

"Hey, Mom!" I stared at her in shock. She never said that, Dad was the person who felt the need to beat me into the ground. It must have been the menopause talking. She started her change of life last fall, and it's been hell in the Forman household ever since.

"Kitty, don't be too hard on the boy." Dad patted her arm. "He may not be stupid, but he's no Einstein."

"Thanks, Daddy." This conversation was going downhill fast. Forget the C minus, they were supposed to be looking at the A! I was smart enough to graduate high school, this was cause for excitement!

"Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Forman." Hyde let himself in through the sliding door, sitting down at the table with us.

"Well, you should be!" Mom snapped at him.

Behind his sunglasses, Hyde didn't even blink; he just reached for the bowl of mashed potatoes. He'd adapted to the yelling and meanness a whole lot faster than Dad and I had. We still jumped and ran for cover. Hyde managed to get in sixteen years of experience with yelling before his mom ran off with a trucker and abandoned him.

Hyde lives in the storeroom in the basement, along with all the other stuff we don't really know what to do with, but can't throw out on the street. He lived with us for a while after Edna left, and then his Dad moved back into town for about six months last year, but he took off again, and Hyde moved back into the basement. It's kind of like having a brother - a brother that never gets in trouble, because your parents like him a whole lot better than they like you. I bring home a B, and get yelled at by my Dad because it wasn't an A, but Hyde gets a D, and he's made over like he just single handedly defeated the Russians.

I've been best friends with Hyde since second grade. The story goes that he was a hired gun to protect me from the mean little neighbor girl, but that may not be entirely accurate. Oh fine, it's completely accurate, I spent the first half of second grade flat on my back on the ground while a little red haired girl tried to make me eat dirt. Yes, I am that sad and pathetic. Thankfully, that doesn't happen anymore. Well, very often, anyway.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." Mom morphed back into her usual cheerful self, patting Hyde on the arm.

"That was yelling?" Hyde asked mildly.

"Well, either way, I'm sorry. Have some peas." Mom dumped a spoonful of peas on his plate. "You too, Eric." Another spoonful landed on my plate.

"Mom!" I protested. "I don't like peas! Can I at least serve my own food?" My plate was ruined, I stood to rinse it off in the sink.

"Since when don't you like peas?" Mom said in disbelief.

"Since 1966?"

"I like peas, Mrs. Forman." Hyde interjected. He always has to do that. The only reason my parents like him better than me is because he's a suck up. Well, and also, he's pretty good at making them believe everything he does wrong is actually my fault.

"Eric, while you're up, get me a beer." Dad requested, pushing his plate back and getting comfortable.

"Oh, speaking of beer…" Hyde put his fork down. "My parents are back in town."

~*~

Hyde opened the fridge door, assessing the breakfast options inside. It didn't take long, the shelves were empty except for a blackened banana, Tupperware container of leftover chili, and an open bowl of something covered in grayish green fuzz. He wrinkled his noise and slammed the door closed. It may have been true seventeen year old boys would eat anything, but he just couldn't bring himself to have chili for breakfast two mornings in a row.

Mrs. Forman was probably making waffles. Hyde checked his watch; the Formans didn't usually eat until 9:00 or so on Saturday morning, if he left right then, he could probably steal a couple waffles from Eric.

The phone rang as soon as he opened the apartment door, almost as if the door opening had triggered a switch. Hyde paused, debating whether or not he should bother answering the phone. People didn't call their place very often. He decided to answer, just in case it was his father calling from the holding cell.

"Steven! Glad you're there!" Bud Hyde always had a false enthusiasm to his voice. "Look, I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, Dad." Hyde took a seat on the counter, drumming his heels against the fake wood paneling beneath. "You haven't been home in two days."

Hyde had walked into a bar five months ago with the intention of using his fake ID, and found his father tending bar. He'd moved in with Bud, but sometimes he wondered if it was worth it. Bud was trying to be a parent; he just wasn't any good at it. Neither of Hyde's parents had been.

"See, that's a pretty funny story." Bud started glibly. Hyde rolled his eyes. It wouldn't be a funny story; Bud was trying to save face.

"I was at work Thursday, and you'll never guess who walked in!" Bud waited and when he realized Hyde wasn't going to guess, continued. "Edna!"

"My mom, Edna?"

"Yeah! Anyway, we got to talking, and you know, reliving old times and stuff, and the next thing we knew, we were in my car heading for Canada!" Bud laughed, as though this was the funniest thing he'd heard in months.

"So, you're in Canada, Bud?" Hyde could see where this was heading.

"It's not important where we are! I mean, your Mom and I are back together! That should make you happy! You were pretty upset when we divorced."

"Yeah." Hyde didn't bother to keep the frustration out of his voice. "I was upset because my dad walked out on me. Kind of like right now!"

"Steven, I'm really sorry about that..."

"No, you're not!"

"Hey, I can send you money for the rent." Bud offered.

"Bud, that's not even the point!" Hyde gave up trying to explain his side. "You know, never mind. I'm real glad you and Mom hooked back up, and I hope you're happy without me like she always wanted. I'll be just fine on my own, so don't bother coming back next time." He slammed the receiver back into the cradle and hopped down off the counter.

It was pretty obvious what had happened. He'd let his guard down. As soon as he'd stopped wondering if Bud was going to stay around, Bud had skipped out on him as fast as he could. He should have never let himself get into this situation in the first place.

He didn't feel like going over to the Formans anymore, in fact he wasn't that hungry anyway.

~*~

"Oh, how cute, he's doing his homework!" Mom patted me on top of the head as she passed the kitchen table. How cute? I mean, I know I have a sort of impish quality to me that the ladies really love, but shouldn't that be apparent all the time, not just when I was eating my pencil and plotting the imminent death of Pythagoras?

"He'll be a whole lot cuter when he's not living under my roof." Dad grunted from behind his newspaper.

Mom sat down at the table, folding her hands neatly in front of her. "Red, remember how you said you'd paint the house this summer?"

Dad's face appeared over the newspaper, more than a little shocked. "I never said that!"

"Red?" The scary side was taking over Mom's voice.

"Fine!" Dad threw the newspaper down. "Kitty, how about I paint the house this summer!"

"Yay!" Mom bounced in her chair, clapping. "Yellow!"

"No, Kitty. Green." He vanished behind the sports section.

"Hey, guys, I'm trying to do homework here?" I interrupted. How was I supposed to find the tangent of anything when they were arguing paint colors? Plus, our house would look stupid painted yellow. It'd be all bright and girly. Oh my god, Mom was going to make us paint the house yellow.

"Shut up, Eric."

"What, you're the one that told me to buckle down..." I trailed off before Red kicked and broke my kneecap under the table.

"Yellow is such a cheerful color." Mom was still ecstatic over the fact Dad was painting the house. "And I need something cheerful, since I don't have anything to look forward to anymore..." She broke off as the front doorbell rang.

"Who the hell is that?" Dad asked. "All Eric's idiot friends just walk in, and so does Bob for that matter. It must be a salesman. Don't answer it, I'm not buying any more crap."

"Red, maybe someone came to visit!" Mom was already halfway to the living room door.

"Kitty, who would want to visit us?"

"Well... maybe they didn't come to see you!" Mom laughed and hurried out into the living room.

We both listened to the voices in the other room. "Did she invite them in?" Dad threw his newspaper down again in exasperation. "Now I'm going to have to go out there and TALK to them!"

"And we all know how difficult that is..." I muttered.

"Hey, shut it, pal." He was pushing his chair in and starting for the door. "If your mother wants to know where I went, you don't know." Smart man, he was running away while there was still time.

Mom came barreling back through the door like Edith Bunker on All in the Family. "Oh... my... GOD!" She stage whispered, waving her hands madly in the air. Yeah, she looked completely crazy, but it scared Dad into stopping his flight for the driveway. "You will never guess who is out there!" She spun and pointed at the living room wall.

"Oh, wait, I've got this one, Dad." I held up a hand to silence him. "It's Ed McMahon, right, Mom? We're millionaires now, and we can just hire someone to paint the house."

If looks could kill, Red would have just turned me into a tiny little pile of smoking ash. Damn me and my smart mouth.

"No!" Mom was so worked up she took my guess seriously. "It's..." She glanced over her shoulder, like whoever it was would be listening at the door. "It's Steven's parents!"

"Son of a bitch!" Dad flung his arms in the air. It was an appropriate choice of words when you thought about it. Yeah, this probably wasn't the time or place to bring that up.

"Shhhh, they can hear you!" If Mom's arms waved any faster, she was going to start hovering above the floor. "Where's Steven? Red, go talk to them. Oh my, I'm so nervous!" She started laughing hysterically.

"Kitty, for the love of God, pull yourself together." He sent a disgusted glance her way, before turning back to me. "Eric, go get Steven."

"But..." I started, before setting my pencil down, and bolting for the basement door as fast as I could. Something told me Red wasn't in the mood for backtalk. He's never in the mood for backtalk. Dad is a cranky, mean old man.

Hyde was downstairs watching Donahue with Fez. I dragged him back upstairs without really telling him what was going on. I had a feeling if I told him, he'd decide not to go, and then I'd get in trouble for not tackling him to the ground or something. Yeah, it's always my fault. I hate that.

He stopped just out of range of the swinging door into the living room, and I hit the brakes to keep from running right over the top of him. The door came flying back towards me, and I didn't really catch it in time. Knocked me a good three steps to my right, and for a few seconds, I thought my arm was broken. No one even noticed, thanks to the huge awkward silence permeating the entire living room.

Since I've managed to have more than my fair share of embarrassing situations and awkward moments in my life, I had this compulsion to break up awkward silences. It doesn't usually go well, and I know I should just shut up, but then words come out of my mouth anyway. Hyde was my best friend. I wanted to do something to help him. I could practically feel the anger radiating off of him.

Oh wait. Never mind that, I think the door just whacked my elbow. My mistake.

"Steven, aren't you going to say something?" Edna was sitting on the couch, wearing a black sweater and pink slacks. Her hair was different from the last time I'd seen her, shorter and more curly.

"What do you want me to say?" Hyde folded his arms and glowered at her.

I moved around to the other side of the room and sat next to Mom on the organ bench. It felt safer over there. My mother would protect me, right?

Hyde has this creepy ability to get inside your head, figure out exactly what he can use against you, and when the time comes, push that button for all it's worth. He does it to me, he does it to his girlfriend - which can be pretty funny sometimes - he's even done it to Red before. It's annoying as anything because I can never get back at him in the same way. It's like kicking a brick wall. But, his best moments have always come against Edna. Maybe he inherited it from her, because when they decide to go at it, look out. They were currently in a stare down, it was only a matter of time.

"So, Eric, how've you been?" Bud was blissfully unaware of what was about to unfold next to him. Dad's right, Bud's a dumbass.

"What do you guys want?" Hyde interrupted me before I could answer. It was a shame really, I had so much interesting information I could have shared. Oh, who am I kidding?

"We don't want anything." Edna snapped. "We thought we'd be nice and come see you, so sit down, shut up and quit ruining the moment."

Surprisingly enough, Hyde sat down. It had to have been a strategic maneuver; there was no way he'd cave to his mother like that.

"You still working at the Fotohut?" Bud leaned around Edna so he could see Hyde.

"So you guys need money." Hyde assumed. This got Mom and Dad's attention. Bud had hit Hyde up for money the last time he was in town, and Dad had yelled about it afterwards until that creepy vein popped out on his forehead.

"No, we don't need money." Bud corrected. "I was just asking."

"Oh." Hyde backed down a little. "I'm not. Leo had to leave town."

"Hiding in Canada from the cops." I added.

"Damn hippie." Dad muttered.

"You're graduating pretty soon, right?" Edna asked, smacking Hyde on the arm.

Hyde just stared at her blankly. I wasn't sure if he was intentionally refusing to answer, or if he was just surprised she had asked.

"Yes, he is!" Mom jumped to fill the silence. "We're just so proud of him! His SAT scores were good enough to get him into college!"

"College, huh?" Bud repeated. "We've never had that in the family before."

"I could have gone to college." Edna interjected.

"Oh god..." Hyde rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Edna turned on him. "I could have!" Whatever little rapport had been established was gone, just like that. It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion. It was going to end in a horrible mangled mess, but I couldn't take my eyes away from them.

"Wait, let me finish this one for you, Edna." Hyde stood back up, on the defensive. "See, Edna could have done a lot of things, except she got knocked up and had me instead. And she's never let me forget it!"

"Yeah, well, I was never cut out to be a mother." Edna defended.

"Oh my god!" Mom couldn't take anymore, jumping up off the organ bench, her fists actually clenched at her sides. "What is the matter with both of you? You haven't seen each other in a year, and you still can't get along for five minutes?"

Hyde and Edna stopped and stared at her. "Excuse me?" Edna asked coldly.

"No, no, Edna, she's right." Hyde sat back down on the arm of the couch. "Sorry, Mrs. Forman."

The room went silent again. Dad may have been sleeping with his eyes open, but I wasn't sure. Either that or he'd worked himself into some kind of trance stopping himself from jumping up and yelling "dumbass" at everyone in the room. If he didn't do it soon, I was going to. Then I'd turn and run like the wind, because Edna scared me a little. A lot. She can be a really scary lady.

"When do you graduate?" Bud did something right for once and changed the subject. I shouldn't be so hard on Bud, he's not a bad guy, really. Sometimes he's pretty cool. But then he usually does something stupid to ruin it.

"Six weeks." Hyde shifted uncomfortably on the couch arm.

"Well, you're not in jail, you're actually graduating high school, you turned out better than I thought you would." Edna reached over and patted Hyde's arm. Somewhere deep down underneath, I think she meant it as a compliment.

Hyde smiled, so I guess he took it for one. In a weird, twisted kind of way, it was actually a touching moment.

~*~

Hyde pushed his way past the growing mound of junk and debris on the covered front porch, pulling the screen door open. The white paint had almost peeled completely from the wood frame, leaving just the weathered gray boards. The front door was unlocked and open, so his mother must already be home. He set his school stuff down quietly on his way to the kitchen, not sure exactly where Edna was or who might be with her.

Much to his surprise, his mother was in the dimly lit kitchen, sitting at their small table, a cigarette between her fingers, and a beer can on the green and yellow vinyl tablecloth in front of her.

"You're home early." He stopped in the doorway, ready to turn around and leave again if Edna didn't want him around. He was never quite sure what to expect with Edna, it was easiest to just go with the flow - if she was in a good mood, appreciate it, if not, lay low until it blew over.

She ignored him, flicking her cigarette ashes into the mug on the table.

"Should I make dinner?" He tried again. Edna never cooked at home, claiming she served enough people food every day at work.

"I went to the store." Edna waved her free hand towards the cluttered counter between the sink and stove, where the unpacked bag of groceries was sitting next to the now 10-pack of beer. "What happened to your face?" She added, her eyes fixing on the scrape next to his left eye.

"Got in a fight with Kelso." Hyde shrugged, emptying the bag. Kelso had shoved his head into a brick wall, and Hyde had pounded Kelso within an inch of his life.

"Did you win?"

"It was Kelso." He repeated, wrinkling his nose at the tuna fish can. He hated tuna fish, but Edna always insisted on buying it. "Of course I won."

"Good for you."

Hyde glanced over at her as he searched through the cabinets for the one pan they had left. Something was wrong, it was giving him a creepy feeling. The pan was in the living room, he remembered finally. He had used it as a bowl the other night.

"Steven, I lost my job today." She said quietly when he came back into the room.

"Oh." He set the pan on the counter, trying to ignore the knot his stomach had just tied itself into. This had happened three times in the four years his father had been gone, and he hated it more each time.

"Don't look so worried!" Edna stood, joining him at the counter. "You're so damn serious all the time." She reached over and ruffled his hair.

Someone had to be. He didn't say it out loud, there wasn't any point in making her mad right now. "I can get a job after school." He said instead.

"No, you won't." Edna smacked him on the back of the head as she grabbed another beer and went back to her chair. "You're twelve years old, you're not going to start working yet. I'll find another job, we'll be fine."

She didn't want him working, but she didn't have any problem leaving on his own every night. Hyde bit his tongue again.

"You need to finish school." She nodded.

"Screw that."

"Hey, shut up! You're going to graduate high school, Steven!" She was getting mad now. "You're a smart kid!"

Hyde stared at her for a long moment, not sure what to make of this last comment. "Yeah, you're drunk, Edna." He said finally.

Edna's mouth dropped open in amazement. "Steven, just accept the compliment! God, you're just like your father."

There was a time when he would have considered being like his father a good thing, even when she intended it as an insult, but not anymore. "I know." He said flatly, turning back around to the sink and running water to rinse the pan out.

"I didn't mean it that way." She apologized.

"Yes, you did." He turned on his heel and left the room. If she wanted dinner, she could make it herself.

~*~

"So guys, this is it!" Bud waved his hand towards the dilapidated building in front of us. I swear, it was actually sagging in the middle. The gas pumps in front were completely covered in a disgusting black film, the windows in the garage doors were broken, and at one point, it looked as though the building had been a flamingo pink color, which had now faded to a horrid tomato soup tone.

"Uncle Len's garage?" Hyde raised his eyebrows skeptically behind his glasses. "How'd you get it?"

"Len's going to sell it to us." Bud nodded excitedly. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, it's... pretty cool." I honestly didn't know what to say. The words were completely escaping me. It was horrible, terrible, awful. The place should have been condemned. Maybe it was condemned. I started checking for a notice posted on the door.

"Isn't this where Len had that shootout with the police over the armed robbery?" Edna wondered. It didn't surprise me. Everyone in Hyde's family has had at least one run in with the law.

"Where're you getting the money, Bud?" Hyde asked sharply.

"Come on, Steven!" Bud slapped him on the shoulder, knocking him forward half a step. "It's not like I didn't have a job for the last year! Well, for most of it." He added, chuckling to himself. I really hoped he didn't elaborate on that, he was getting on my nerves as it was.

"Okay, you've got the money, what are you going to do with it?"

"Steven, your father is a pretty good mechanic, don't you remember?" Edna slipped her arm around Bud's waist, leaning up against his arm. They just didn't look right to me, the only time I'd ever seen them together, they fought all the time. There was something creepy about her hanging on Bud's arm.

There was a long pause from Hyde after she did that, I could only assume he was as weirded out by the entire display as I was. "Um, no." He said finally. "I remember him being unemployed, and then leaving town for nine years." Oh good, here came the sarcasm. Things could only get better after this.

"Hey, I was a loser back then!" Bud said it with such enthusiasm that I found myself believing him. Maybe he had turned over a new leaf.

"Bud, that's what you told me the last time, when you were working at the bar!" Hyde shot that idea down. "This place is a dump!"

Yeah, that was the word I had been looking for earlier in response to 'pretty cool.'

"So we need to work on it a little!" Bud shrugged.

Hyde just looked confused. "We?" He repeated. I thought I picked up on a hurt note in his voice when he said it, but I wasn't sure. Hyde was hard to figure out. "Oh boy, I get to be included!"

Now it was Bud's turn to look confused.

"Steven, you know what, it's your choice. If you want to walk away, that's up to you." Edna said quietly.

"Good. I'm out of here." He spun and started down the road towards downtown, if you can call the main street of Point Place that.

I glanced from his parents to Hyde and back again. I didn't really appreciate him just leaving me here, what was I supposed to do now?

"Eric, maybe you'd better go after him." Edna suggested. I'm not sure why this responsibility fell to me, I wasn't the one he was mad at.

"Yeah." I took one last glance at the dump behind them. "Good luck with the... garage." I turned and jogged after my friend. "Hey, man, wait up. What're you doing?"

"Getting out of here." He said flatly.

I like to think I know Hyde a little better than he's willing to admit. We've known each other a long time now, and one thing I've learned through experience is if he's yelling, he's not really mad. It's when he's all "zen" and stoic that I get worried. Or, when it's directed towards me, scared.

"You're walking all the way home?" I asked in disbelief. "Hyde, you hate walking."

"Yeah, but I'm mad."

He was dead serious when he said it, and for some reason this struck me as funny. I bit my lower lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"Are you laughing at me?" He stopped, glaring at me.

"Sorry." I tried to keep a straight face, which only made it worse. Now I was laughing. "It's just that we're like, two miles away from home!" I explained after I pulled myself together. "And you usually won't even walk to Fez' house, and he only lives three blocks away!"

"Are you finished?"

"Yeah."

"Good. We're walking to the AM/PM on the corner and calling Kelso."

Calling Kelso is never a brilliant plan of action. He's even dumber than usual on the phone. It's like he spends most of his brainpower trying to figure out where the voice in his ear is coming from, rather than listening to what they're saying. Hyde had to repeat everything three times before Kelso understood.

"It might have just been easier to walk." I pointed out from my seat on the curb when he hung up.

"Yep. He may never show up." He sat down next to me, and neither of us said anything for a good ten minutes. I discovered it took exactly eight and a half minutes of sitting on cement for my ass to fall asleep. Boy, that was something I'd always wondered about. Was this really worth it for Hyde to make a stupid point to his parents?

"They walked out on me. I'm not going to stand there and act like everything's okay. Because it's not." God, had he read my mind or something? That was freaky.

"So, what are you going to do?" I wondered.

"Wait for Kelso."

Okay, so he wasn't going to answer that. That was fine. I didn't have to know.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

~*~

They were fighting again, yelling loud enough to wake him up. He wasn't sure what it was about, he was never really sure, but it didn't matter. Every time it was the same thing. First, the yelling and then the throwing and hitting. When the first object hit the wall outside his room and shattered, he threw the blankets back and slipped out of bed.

Hyde was only eight, and his parents had fought as long as he could remember. It hadn't taken him long to learn it was easiest to just disappear until they were finished. He pulled his sneakers on and pushed his window open, climbing over the sill and dropping onto the balding grass below. It was still early morning, and Hyde's t-shirt and jeans didn't protect against the chill in the air. Across the street, the neighbor was mowing his lawn, like he did every Saturday.

Even out in the yard, he could still hear his parents. Hyde settled onto the front steps, pulling his knees up to his chest to keep from shivering. His father was yelling the same thing over and over again. He always did that, as if repeating his point gave it more weight.

"Do you want me to leave, Edna? I'll leave! Is that what you want? Is it?"

"All talk and no action, just like usual!" Edna hollered back, her voice carrying even more than Bud's.

There was silence after this, and that worried Hyde. Silence wasn't normal; it scared him more than the yelling did.

"That's it! I'm not doing this anymore." Bud slammed through the screen door and down the front steps, bag in hand, not even noticing Hyde. "You hear me, Edna? I'm not doing it anymore! I'm leaving, I'm not coming back, and I won't be around to ruin your life anymore! Happy?"

"I haven't been happy since the day I met you!" Edna screamed from the doorway behind Hyde. "Don't bother coming back!"

Bud didn't even turn around, he just kept walking.

It was then that Hyde realized they meant it this time, this wasn't just the over the top yelling and screaming that happened every time Bud came home late, or didn't come home at all. "Dad, wait!" He jumped to his feet and ran after him. "You can't leave! Don't leave!" He wrapped himself around Bud's free arm, holding on for all he was worth.

"Edna, get him off me!" Bud yelled, not even breaking stride.

"Steven, come here." Edna hurried down the steps to pull him loose. "Stop it!" She pinned Hyde's arms to his sides when he tried to hit his way free.

"Let go of me!" Hyde tried to twist around and elbow her, but Edna was stronger than him. She had him pinned with both arms, if he didn't know better; it would have felt like a hug.

Bud threw his bag in the back seat of his old and rusted car, and left, just like that. Hyde refused to believe he wasn't coming back. His dad wouldn't just leave. He hadn't even said goodbye.

~*~

"Oh, well there you are!" Mom greeted me as I came in the kitchen door for dinner. "Where have you been?" Hyde and Dad were already at the table. I was the late one tonight.

"Next door, with Donna." I jerked a thumb behind me in the direction of my girlfriend's house. "We were studying!" I added, seeing Dad was about to start chewing me out for not buckling down. This was a semi-truth, we had been studying, with study breaks every few minutes, if you know what I mean. Graduation was just a couple weeks away, we deserved a break!

"Studying." Hyde repeated, laughing as he said it. "Nice."

"Shut up." I sat down in my usual chair.

"Well, just once, it would be nice to have everyone sit down to a meal together!" Mom complained, setting the mashed potatoes on the table.

I glanced around the table. "Um, Mom, we were all here for breakfast this morning."

"Oh, Eric, breakfast doesn't count!" She smacked her hand on the table. "Your father reads the newspaper, and Steven's so cranky in the morning!"

Hyde paused, his glass halfway to his mouth, a little taken aback. Mom didn't burn him very often.

"You know, she's right." I pointed my fork at him, fully prepared to enjoy this. Now that Mom had brought it up, Hyde was kind of bitchy in the morning. I'm sure the fact that he spends most of his nights hanging out in dark alleys or committing random acts of vandalism doesn't help. If he slept at night like a normal person, he'd be more pleasant before noon.

"I'm just not a morning person." Hyde defended.

"Yeah, most criminals aren't." I said under my breath, for all official purposes, fully concentrating on the pork chop on my plate. "That's why you hear about a lot of crimes that take place at 'night,' not 'just after dawn.'" Oh, I'd gone too far with that one, it was just a question of whether he'd hurt me now or later.

"That's enough, Mr. Snarky Smartmouth!" Mom shook her head at me. "So, Red, how was your day?"

"Pretty good, Kitty. Ran into your dad at the hardware store when I was getting paint, Steven."

"Wait, you were getting paint?" I suddenly realized I was about to be trapped.

"Your mother wants the house painted, remember?"

"Yeah, but Dad, I thought you were doing that... this summer." I had been counting on his doing it this summer. I could have lined up an excuse by that time. Now there was a very good chance I was about to be roped into helping paint the house, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to think quickly.

Why is it when Dad smiles, he looks evil? Darth Vader probably looks like that under his helmet. Bald and evil. He was smiling at me now, because he knew I was trapped. Maybe if I bolted for the door, I could escape. No, it was too risky.

"We're painting it this weekend, because your mother wants me to." All the time with the smiling. Resist the Dark Side, Eric, resist! "You and Steven can both help."

My eyes met Hyde's across the table. One of us had to do something fast. I could see the wheels turning between Hyde's ears, so I let him take it. He was better at lying to Red than I was. I'm guessing it's because he doesn't act guilty when he lies, and I do.

"Sounds great, Red."

What? That wasn't what he was supposed to say! I choked on a piece of pork chop, and while I was clutching my throat trying to breathe, I saw the smirk on Hyde's face. He so screwed me on purpose. Now I'm going to have to kill him. Oh, who am I kidding? It'd just backfire in my face. Everything does.

"Yeah, so did you hear all about the garage plans?" Obviously, Hyde wasn't picking up any vibes that I really hated him right now; he just kept right on talking to Dad.

"Actually, no. He wouldn't shut up about you graduating." Dad elbowed Hyde in the arm.

Hyde just gave him a skeptical glance and kept on eating.

"Well, I think it's just wonderful your parents are so proud of you!" Mom announced. "In fact, I'm going to let them know about the graduation ceremony, so they can come!" She jumped up from her chair and hurried off to the living room.

The table was kind of quiet after she left. Dad must not have had anything to yell at me about, because he was quiet, and Hyde was staring at his plate, thinking again. He didn't seem particularly happy his Dad was bragging about him, but then again, sometimes it's hard to tell what Hyde's thinking. I was starting to hope he'd give his parents another chance.

~*~

Kitty stacked the last of the breakfast dishes and carried them to the sink. It was Christmas morning, Laurie and Eric were fighting in the living room, as usual, but thankfully they were drowned out by Bing Crosby on the radio. She turned the volume up just a little higher before wiping the table off. Red was supposed to be policing the kids, so she was just going to ignore everything on that side of the door. It was his problem.

A blast of cold air blew through the kitchen as the sliding glass door opened and Eric's nine year old friend, Steven, entered. Kitty liked Steven, he was a nice boy, except for his strange habit of wandering into her kitchen unannounced and uninvited.

"Merry Christmas, Steven!" She greeted him cheerfully. "Where's your coat, sweetie? It's cold outside!" The only outdoor clothing he was wearing was a stocking cap, pulled down over his curly hair.

"It's not that cold." His sweater was too big for him, and he pushed the sleeves up off his hands.

"Have you had breakfast?" Kitty asked. When he showed up in the morning, more often than not he hadn't eaten.

Hyde shrugged.

"Have some cereal, Steven." Kitty pulled the Alpha Bits box and a bowl down from the cabinet and set it front of him at the table. "So, what did Santa bring you?" She moved back across the kitchen, pouring milk into a saucepan for her traditional Christmas hot chocolate.

Hyde threw a look of disgust her way before turning his attention back to pouring cereal into the bowl. "Santa doesn't exist. That's just a dumb lie grownups tell kids."

"Honey, you're so cynical!" Kitty set the pan on the stove and turned on the heat.

"What's cynical?"

"It means... it means you hate everything!" She couldn't think of a better way to explain it.

He stared at her for a very long moment, and Kitty started worrying maybe that hadn't been the best thing to say to a nine year old. "I don't hate everything." He said finally. "I like you."

"Oh, that is... just the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me!" Kitty hugged him with one arm and kissed the top of his hat. "Here, have some milk." She added, taking the carton from the counter behind her.

"I got a card from my Dad." Hyde told her between mouthfuls of cereal. "He's in South Dakota."

"Well, that's nice." Kitty sat down in the next chair. Hyde's father had left town almost a year ago, and he wasn't mentioned very often.

"Yeah, he couldn't make it for Christmas, but he said he'd come visit for my birthday." He nodded.

"Oh... well, sweetie, I hope he does."

~*~

Hyde and I stepped outside the kitchen door to be greeted by my father, who was wearing old clothes, a hat on his bald, evil head, and holding a paintbrush menacingly. "It's about time you screwheads got out here. We've got a lot of work to do!"

"Yeah, Red, I can't today." Hyde was already halfway down the driveway to the curb where his car was parked. "I'm supposed to meet my dad."

It was a clever way out. There was no way Red could challenge him on that one. God, he was good. He didn't even flinch when Red's steely glare hit his back. I envied him for that.

"Well, that's just great." Dad shook his head.

"Hey, you've still got me, Daddy." I smirked.

"That's right, I've still got the Wisenheimer." He rolled his eyes and stalked back to the dining room window, where his painting paraphernalia was set up. "Get over here."

Oh, this was going to be the most horrible day ever.

By the time afternoon rolled around, I had yellow paint in my hair, my right shoulder and arm were about to fall off from wielding a paintbrush for the last four hours, and I was wondering if I could fake heatstroke or exhaustion well enough to convince my father. Probably not.

"Hello, Mr. Forman; Eric." A perky, girlish voice greeted us from the driveway.

I ignored it, hoping it would just go away on its own. It didn't.

"So... what are you doing?" The voice asked. When you think about it, how stupid of a question was that? It was pretty obvious what we were doing.

"It's the loud one, isn't it?" Dad grunted at me, still not turning around. He got some kind of twisted kick out of never referring to any of my so called friends by their names, only by the titles he had awarded them. 'The loud one' was actually Jackie Burkhardt, Hyde's whiny, bossy, motor mouthed cheerleader of a girlfriend. They're completely wrong for each other, but they've got this damsel in distress, knight in shining armor routine, which seems to work for them. It's kind of like Han and Leia in Star Wars, which just proves my point. Like that would ever happen.

"Is Steven home?" Jackie rocked back and forth in her assumedly expensive boots.

"With his parents... at the hovel." I knew answering her meant I was about to be drawn into an actual conversation, but at least it meant I could stop painting. I wasn't sure which was the worst evil.

"Wow, he's spending a lot of time over there." Jackie commented, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"Really?" I was caught off guard, and showed interest before I remembered it would only encourage her. Hyde hadn't let on he was spending time with Bud and Edna.

"Yeah. I've barely seen him all week." She wrinkled her nose. "You know, I don't even really mind he's not paying that much attention to me. Wow, I must really be maturing, huh?" She flashed a bright smile at both of us.

How did Hyde put up with the constant perkiness and narcissism? I glanced over at Dad, who looked as if he was about to choke on his own tongue.

"Wow, so he's spending time with his parents?" I repeated. "I thought he was... mad at them and stuff." God, now she had me talking like her! How did that happen?

"Yeah, you know, me too!" Jackie's face lit up. Now she was gossiping with me like I was her new best friend. "I mean, he was pretty mad at them about the last time, but you know, if you wait long enough, Steven always caves."

Dad had turned around and started painting again, but I knew he was still listening. I wasn't sure what to say in response to that. What she had said was true. Hyde always caved. It didn't seem like he did, but... he did. Every time.

"Maybe I'll go see if Donna wants to go to the mall." Jackie decided. "You guys look pretty busy. Tell Mrs. Forman I really like the yellow, okay?" And with that, she literally skipped back across the driveway to Donna's house.

"Oh my God, Dad, she's right!" I turned to him, just this side of horrified. "We have to do something!"

Dad stared at me, shaking his head slightly, like he always did when I became hysterical. "Do what?" He set his brush down on the rim of the paint can. "Eric, you can't do anything, it's his choice. He knows what he's getting into."

"No, Dad." I objected, jabbing my paintbrush at him before I realized what I was doing. "We have to do something!" Maybe he hadn't heard me correctly the first time.

He reached up and wiped the yellow paint speckles off his face, rolling his eyes at me. "Look, I don't like this any more than you do, but what am I supposed to do about it? When he moved in with Bud, I flat out told him I thought Bud was a dumbass, and Steven agreed with me."

"But, he moved in with him anyway." I pointed out.

"Exactly." He turned around and started painting again.

Exactly? Exactly what? Sometimes I'm convinced Dad's completely crazy. "No, why would he do that?" I move my arms a lot when I talk, and when there's a paintbrush in my hand, it just doesn't go well. This time yellow paint flew over the grass.

"Put that brush down before you take out someone's eye." Dad snapped. Since he was the only other person around, I assumed by someone, he really meant himself. "Think about it, Eric. Why do you put up with me? The fact that you're a pansy aside?"

"You're my dad." I responded automatically.

"There you go."

I shut up after that. We were right at that line where if things got any more affectionate, Dad would threaten to hit me. I understood what he was getting at, but that didn't mean I agreed with the idea. There was a huge difference between the way Dad treated me, and the way Bud treated Hyde. Hyde was my best friend - I couldn't just stand there and let him get hurt again.

~*~

Hyde settled himself on the front steps, making sure he had a clear view of the street in both directions. It was still early and the street and sidewalk were deserted, but he was going to be ready. It was his tenth birthday. As usual, his mother had warned him they couldn't afford a party. He didn't care about that. The only people that would have come would have been Eric and Kelso, and he saw them all the time anyway.

But, this birthday was special. His father had said he was coming back this time. Hyde's mother had laughed when he told her, but she was wrong. He knew his dad was coming back - he hadn't even said goodbye when he left, so of course he was coming back and Hyde was going to be ready when he arrived.

He sat on the front porch all morning, and no one went up or down the street. Hyde wasn't worried, it was stilly early. Around lunchtime, Kelso and Eric wandered down the sidewalk, Kelso walking with one foot on the curb and one in the street. Eric tagged along behind, as usual. Mrs. Forman wouldn't let Eric wander around town by himself, he always had to be with someone.

"Hi, Hyde!" Eric piped as he carefully skirted the lawn and walked up the driveway.

"You were supposed to come over today, remember?" Kelso ignored the cement and cut across the dead grass. "We've got to dig that swimming pool for this summer!"

"I still can't believe your parents are going to let us dig an eight foot hole in your backyard." Eric said skeptically.

"They don't care!" Kelso rolled his eyes. "Anything I do, Casey'll do something worse! He blew up the garage last week!"

"Yeah, we heard about it, like, four million times already." Eric sighed.

"Come on, Hyde!" Kelso prompted.

"Yeah guys, I can't today." Hyde shrugged as they joined him on the steps. "My Dad's coming today."

Eric and Kelso glanced at each other. "Are you sure about that?" Kelso asked finally.

"I'm sure!" Hyde snapped. "He told me he was."

"I don't think he is." Kelso squinted at the road. "Besides, it's a really dumb way to spend a Saturday. Come on, let's go dig a hole! Your dad'll wait until you get home."

"Shut up!" Hyde smacked Kelso on the arm. "I'm not going!"

"Fine!" Kelso jumped back to his feet. "I'm out of here, I've got a pool to dig!" He started back the way he came.

"Wait, Michael!" Eric shrieked from the steps, before turning to Hyde. "I'd stay and wait with you, except then I wouldn't have anyone to walk home with." He stood, then remembered. "Oh, and my Mom says she wants to know what kind of cake you want, since it's your birthday."

"Chocolate, I guess." Hyde shrugged, not really paying attention. There was a car turning down the street. It didn't stop, just kept right on down the street.

"Okay." Eric glanced at Kelso, who was picking through the neighbor's trash can, and then back to Hyde, obviously conflicted on what he wanted to do. "Bye." He said finally, running after Kelso.

Hyde returned his full attention to the empty street. Nothing happened that afternoon either. He went inside for a few minutes to make himself a sandwich, but then it was back out to the front porch. By the time the sun set that evening, But still hadn't appeared. Hyde's mother came home from work shortly after dark, dressed in her powder blue and white waitress uniform, bracelets jangling on her wrist.

"What're you doing?" She scowled at him from behind her cigarette.

"Nothin'." He shrugged. She didn't need to know.

Edna shook her head as she pushed her way into the house. Hyde pulled his knees up to his chest and watched for headlights, still waiting. He ignored the voice in the back of his head saying his father wasn't coming, and kept telling himself it was still his birthday for a few more hours. But, nothing happened.

It didn't seem like much time had passed before Edna opened the front door. "Look, Steven, I'm locking the door now. Either you come inside, or I'm locking you out." It wasn't an idle threat, she was serious about locking him out of the house. He stood, taking one last look up and down the street before he went inside. She had been right after all; his father wasn't coming back.

~*~

"There's my little man!" Mom threw both arms around me when I wandered into the kitchen late Saturday morning, whapping me in the ear with a green and orange oven mitt. "This is the very last morning you'll be in high school!"

"Thank god." I sat down across from Dad at the kitchen table.

"Kitty, why do we have to go to this stupid thing anyway?" Dad complained, setting his newspaper down.

"Because your only son is graduating today." Mom narrowed her eyes at him. "You've been waiting for this day for the last ten years, Red Forman. And now you don't want to go?"

"Kitty, it's ruining my entire Saturday. I only get two days off, and now I have to spend one of them watching a bunch of kettle-heads parade across a stage. I just don't see the point."

"Well, I feel loved now." I stood up to grab the box of Alpha-Bits.

"The dumbass made it through high school, he's moving out, really Kitty, what more do we need?"

"We need pictures of him in his cap and gown!" Mom pounded her fist on the table. "Lots of pictures! Because after he moves out, that's all I have to remember him by, and I want all three of us in the picture, Red!"

"I'll try to graduate on a weekday next time, okay Dad?" I sat back down with my cereal.

"Where is Steven?" Mom stood up and went to yell down the basement stairs. She came back looking confused. "Sweetie, why is Fez already in the basement?"

I pressed my lips together, thinking. "Yeah, I'm not sure if he actually goes home at night."

"Oh, there you are!" Mom greeted Hyde as he came in the sliding glass door. "I've been yelling at poor sweet Fez to get you out of bed for the last hour and a half!"

Hyde glanced over at me as he sat down. The same thought was running through both our minds. Being awakened by Fez was possibly the most horrible idea ever. Fez was just... weird. It sounded worse than junior high, when Dad would pick up my mattress and literally toss me onto the floor to wake me up.

"Eric, I still have to iron your shirt." Mom was so excited she couldn't stop talking. "Steven, your good clothes for today are upstairs, okay?"

"Actually, Mrs. Forman, I'm not going." Hyde threw this tidbit of information out there casually, like he'd decided not to have orange juice.

"You're not going?" Mom repeated slowly, the tone of her voice dropping dangerously low. "Why?"

"See, he doesn't want to go either!" Dad saw a window of opportunity.

"Can it, Red! Steven, you're going to graduation!"

Oh, that wasn't good. She'd just given Hyde an ultimatum, and there was an essential part of Hyde's personality that insisted on challenging all ultimatums, no matter what they may be, or who they came from.

"No, I'm not going." Hyde repeated, standing up. "Graduation is just one of many conformist rituals in an oppressive system, and I refuse to be part of their little game!"

"Oh my God, Hyde!" I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer. "This isn't the time for a whacko conspiracy theory! It's graduation! Your parents are coming!"

He was halfway across the kitchen by this point, but he stopped and turned around. "Yeah, actually, they're not. So, there's not really any point to me going, is there?"

"What do you mean, they're not coming?" Dad managed to spit the words out first.

"I mean they skipped town." Hyde disappeared downstairs after this matter of fact statement, leaving the rest of us to sit and stare at each other in shocked silence.

~*~

After the basement door closed behind Hyde we sat in stunned silence at the kitchen table. Red stared down at his half empty coffee mug, running his finger along the rim. Mom kept looking from him to me and back again.

"They left?" She finally exploded, literally hopping with rage in her chair.

"Wow." That was pretty much the only word rattling around inside my head. It was weird, I had kind of been expecting this to happen, but at the same time, when it did, I was completely shocked.

Mom got up from the table and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets, causing Dad and I to exchange glances.

"Wow." I repeated. "Poor Hyde." He had delivered his news casually, but somewhere down underneath the zen façade, he had to be upset. In spite of what he'd have me and everyone else believe, he wasn't an emotionless robot. Actually, he might have been, but I kept clinging to that little shred of hope that he wasn't.

"Oh, Hyde'll be fine." As usual, Dad immediately took the opposite viewpoint of my own. He turned in his chair so he could see Mom tearing the cabinets apart. "See, Kitty, this graduation thing just isn't good. I mean, there's really no way this can turn out well, so why bother going?"

The cabinet door slammed shut. "Red." Mom's voice was dangerously low. "We are all going. Go up and put on your suit, right now."

Dad sighed, knowing he couldn't argue, and stood, turning to glare down at me. "The one good thing that comes out of this is you'll finally be out of my house." And with those final words of love, he pushed his way through the door into the living room.

"You know what, why don't I go talk to Hyde?" I decided. It couldn't be any worse than being in the same room with Red. Hyde wasn't bald, the light didn't reflect off his head, how bad could it be?

"Try to talk him into coming today!" Mom called from inside the cabinet next to the stove, emerging triumphantly with her prize.

"Right, like I have a death wish." I muttered as I hurried down the stairs to the basement. Kelso and Fez were the only people down there. Fez was sitting in the lawn chair, while Kelso bent over him, adjusting his mortarboard hat.

"Guys, where's Hyde?"

"His room." Fez said from under Kelso's arms. "The son of a bitch did not even say Good Morning to me."

"Yeah..." I let that conversation trail off and die, trying to decide if my position as he best friend negated the possible hostile threats and actions that would follow my barging uninvited into his room.

While I was contemplating this, Jackie entered through the outside door, followed by Donna. Jackie didn't really look any different than she ever did, but Donna was dressed up. Well, Donna was wearing a skirt, which is dressed up for Donna. She doesn't wear skirts very often, which is kind of a downer for me. If I had my way, she'd wear them all the time. Actually, if I had my way, she'd walk around in a bikini. Yeah, bikinis are good.

"Oh my god, Jackie!" Kelso was practically yelling with excitement. "Please tell me you have hairpins!"

"Why, Michael?" Jackie demanded, arching an eyebrow.

"Fez's hat won't stay on!"

Donna rolled her eyes as she sat down on the couch, crossing her legs. "And how's your day going, Eric?"

"Oh, you know..." I shrugged. "My mother is drinking wine at ten in the morning, and as usual, my father hates me! God, Donna, I hate my life."

Hyde had emerged from his room during this little speech and spoke behind me, causing me to jump a good three inches in the air. "Oh, boo-hoo, we all feel so sorry for Forman and his problems."

Yeah, I'd go out on a limb here and say he was a little bitter.

"That's right." I crossed my arms. "Go ahead, take your bad mood out on me." I followed this with an eloquent, long-suffering sigh. Oh god, was that ever the wrong thing to say. Hyde was pissed off, and I started looking for a fast escape plan. I could probably run and make it to the stairs before he grabbed and beat me. If that didn't work, I'd just scream and let Donna save my life.

By this time, Donna and Jackie had figured out that all was not well and were watching us in confusion.

"Hyde..." I started.

"Shut up, Forman."

"Hyde, look, I'm really sorry."

"Whatever." He turned on his heel and started back towards his room.

"No, not whatever!" I chased after him, ducking between him and the door to his room. "What happened to the garage?"

"What you really expected that to work out?" Hyde stopped, eyeing me in disbelief. "It was pretty obvious it wouldn't, dumbass."

Now that was a cheap shot. No one calls me a dumbass and gets away with it. Except for Red, of course, because he's evil and scary. "If it was so obvious, then why'd you go along with it?" I said it partly because I had nothing else for ammunition, and partly because I was hoping for an explanation. I should have known the latter wouldn't happen. All it earned me was another stony glare and no response. I hated the cigar store Indian routine.

"Steven, what happened?" Jackie asked from behind me.

"Nothing." Hyde said flatly. "Forman, move."

I didn't move.

Hyde rolled his eyes, turned and pushed his way past Jackie to the outside door.

"Yeah, good plan, Hyde!" I yelled after him. "Just leave! Great plan!"

He spun around and came after me. I screamed, but then again, he hit me pretty hard.

I'd been friends with Hyde for ten years, and we've never hit each other. We've wrestled around a little, and he slapped me once, but he'd never punched me before. I was completely shocked for about three seconds, and then my face hurt too much for me to think about anything else.

Donna and Fez both grabbed Hyde and pulled him back, but he didn't seem too intent on coming after me again. He shrugged Donna and Fez off and stood there uncertainly.

"Oh my God, Eric, are you okay?" Jackie's eyes had to be twice their usual size. Kelso was standing behind her, hairpins in his mouth, looking even more confused than usual.

"I'm fine." I picked myself up off the floor, touching my face gingerly. "What the hell, Hyde?"

He didn't answer, just turned around and left through the outside door without so much as looking at me.

"Steven, wait!" Jackie went clattering after him, skirt and handbag flying behind her.

"Wow!" Kelso stepped forward and bent down to inspect my face. "Did he hit your eye?"

~*~

Kitty carefully turned the cake pan upside down over the plate, gently tapping the bottom so the cake would fall out onto the plate in one piece.

"Hi, Mrs. Forman." Hyde pushed the sliding door open.

"Happy Birthday, Steven!" Kitty circled around the end of counter to kiss the top of his head and give him a hug, which he promptly ducked out of.

"Where's Eric?" He climbed up onto one of the tall chairs at the counter.

"Here sweetie, stir this." Kitty set a bowl of chocolate frosting in front of him and handed him a spoon. "Eric went over to Michael's house. With a shovel." She added, frowning.

"Kelso's digging a swimming pool in his backyard for summer." Hyde explained.

"Oh my." Kitty shook her head. The Kelsos weren't going to be pleased when they figured out what he was doing. She was just glad Michael wasn't her child. Keeping track of Laurie was trouble enough for her. "So, Steven, how was your birthday?"

Hyde looked up from the frosting. "My mom forgot."

Kitty ran water into the cake pan and started scrubbing furiously at the metal. At the very least, he deserved to have his own parents remember his birthday.

"I didn't hear from my dad either." He added quietly, concentrating on the frosting again.

She wasn't surprised to hear that, but she was a little surprised that he brought it up. He didn't seem to be looking for a response, and she wasn't really sure what to say, so she kept scrubbing at the pan, and he kept stirring the frosting. As she set the clean pan in the dish drainer, she glanced over at him just in time to see him swipe his free hand across his eyes.

"Oh, Steven, come here!" She hurried back around the counter and half hugged him, half pulled him down from the chair. In the chair, he was taller than she was. This time, he didn't duck away from her.

"I'm okay." He said finally, pulling away and stepping back towards the door, before pausing. "You know what?"

"What?"

"Sometimes I wish you were actually my mom."

~*~

Mom was a little tipsy by the time I made it back upstairs, and she completely freaked out when she saw my eye. There was a lot said about her little baby boy, and having nothing left to live for, but I'm not sure that had anything to do with the way my face looked. I didn't feel like even trying to explain what had happened to her and Red, so I escaped up to my room as soon as I could.

I didn't look in the mirror until I was almost ready to get ready to leave. I wasn't so sure it was a good idea when I did, seeing the ugly blackish purple color my eye socket was turning actually made it hurt more. That was going to look really good in the graduation photos.

A quiet rap on my bedroom door interrupted my inspection, and I straightened up and away from the mirror just as Hyde opened the door enough to poke his head through. "Hey, Forman."

"You stay away from me!" I ducked around onto the other side of the bookcase, holding my hands up to shield my face. Hyde's method of smoothing things over was to just pretend everything was back to normal. I knew that was why he was standing in my room right now, and I just couldn't let it happen without bugging him just a little. It was kind of a mean thing for me to do, but it worked, I saw a tiny little flicker of guilt on his face.

"Look, Eric, I'm sorry about earlier, okay?" He didn't quite make eye contact, apparently fascinated with the wall behind me instead. He was still wearing his jeans and t-shirt, the sunglasses hooked on the neck of the shirt, and I assumed that meant he was still planning on skipping the graduation ceremony.

I stared blankly for a few seconds, not quite believing my ears. "Oh my God, an actual apology?" I blurted finally. Hyde never apologized, even if he had a reason to. Hyde assumed, ignored or forgot, but he never, ever apologized. "You never apologize!" Maybe he had forgotten.

"I've never had a reason to before." Hyde justified.

"Yes, you have!" My voice took on a supremely indignant tone. I couldn't even begin to list all the things he should have apologized for. I'm basically the best friend ever for even putting up with him.

"Okay, fine! Sorry for all those too, you big baby." Hyde rolled his eyes and stretched out on my bed, making himself comfortable.

"It's okay." I smiled benevolently and reached over to pat his shoulder. "I forgive you."

"Oh God..." Hyde sighed, smacking my hand away.

"You hit me again!" I jumped back and carefully inspected my hand for non-existent damage.

"How long are you going to keep that up?" He half raised his head to glare at me.

"As long as possible?" I smirked, shoving his leg out of the way so I could sit on the end of the bed. "Hyde, I'm sorry too. I should have backed off."

"Joe here looks like he's about to parachute down onto my head. Doesn't that creep you out every night, having a doll leering over you like that?" He was staring up at the GI Joes on my headboard, completely ignoring me.

"Well... it didn't, but it probably will now. Thanks!" If I had a nightmare about a GI Joe attacking me, I was blaming him.

There was silence in the room for the next few minutes, which usually wouldn't bother me, especially if we'd been in the basement and the TV was blaring, or Kelso had been climbing inside the freezer or something, but this wasn't a comfortable silence, this was an awkward silence just begging for me to say something and break it. The obvious "are you okay" was no good in this situation, I knew all I'd get in response was a smart-mouthed insult. I needed something else, something good.

"So, Hyde, are you okay?" Oh my God, what was wrong with me? Didn't I just tell myself not to do that very thing?

He sat up slowly, staring at me with a slightly disgusted look. "Forman, are you stupid?"

"No! I just… sound stupid a lot." I finished lamely. If only my brain would do a better job of communicating with my mouth, it was like they were on two completely different frequencies.

That statement almost made him smile, but not quite. He flopped back onto the pillow and I adopted my best patient attitude, sitting quietly on the bed, knowing eventually he'd say something, bouncing my crossed foot absently as I waited.

"Stop it." Okay, it wasn't exactly what I'd been thinking, but it was something?

"Stop what?"

Hyde lunged for my foot and held it still. He really had no reason to twist my ankle, but he did anyway.

"Ow!" I yanked my foot free. "What the hell? Quit hurting me! I mean it, man!"

"I knew they were going to take off, okay?"

"You did?" I rubbed my ankle, not quite believing him.

"They always do eventually, you know." He was staring up at GI Joe again. "I figured they'd be around a little longer though."

What was I supposed to say to that? I had nothing.

"You know all those stupid class plays and Christmas pageants and parent meetings and crap we've had since kindergarten?"

"Yeah." I remembered most of them well. More often than not, they resulted in some kind of humiliating experience for me. That was just how my life worked; I was used to it by now.

"My parents never made it to a single one."

"Ever?"

"Forty three times."

I'd never realized it bothered him enough that he'd kept track. In fact, I couldn't even begin to imagine keeping track of something like that. "Wow, that's probably the most depressing thing I've ever heard."

"Thanks."

"No problem, glad to help." I patted his knee.

"I kind of wanted them to come today."

Maybe I had been better off with the awkward silence. I had this sudden urge to hug him, kiss the top of his head and make him eat a brownie. "Oh my god, I feel like my Mom!" There was no way that was a healthy reaction.

Hyde didn't miss a beat. "Oddly enough, Forman, that doesn't surprise me."

"Oh... shut up." I hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"Remember tee-ball, and Little League, and Pee Wee football and hockey?" Hyde ticked them all off on his fingers. I suddenly had the horrible feeling he was going to list every single event his parents had missed. We could be here all morning.

"Yeah, back in the days when Red thought I could be good at sports." I shook my head. Boy, had he ever missed the boat on that one. "Your parents made some of those games, man! Remember the one where your mom went after the umpire with the bat? Oh, and the time she started fighting with Kelso's mom on the sidelines and hit her in the eye? That was awesome!"

"Drunk both times." Hyde pointed out.

"You'd have to be to take on Mrs. Kelso."

Hyde sat up again, swinging his legs over until he was sitting next to me, but facing into the room. "Red didn't miss a single game."

I stared at him blankly. "Really?"

"Yeah, I kept track."

"Hyde, exactly how much stuff did you keep track of? Because that's just a little creepy, okay?"

He shrugged.

"You know what, I think you're right. I can't think of a single time where Red wasn't there screaming at me from the sidelines." I did a quick inventory of all the horrible sports memories I had, and sure enough, Red's voice was there every time. "God, I was bad at sports!"

This made Hyde smile. "You still are."

"I know." I sighed. "I'm not good at anything!" It was true, I had absolutely nothing going for me, but it wasn't bad enough to make me pathetic. I wasn't even good at being a loser.

"Suppose we should get ready?" Hyde checked his watch. "It's almost time to leave."

"Wait, you're going to graduation?" I was surprised and more than a little confused.

"Yeah, your mom wants me to go." Hyde sighed, then turned to me, looking decidedly more cheerful than he had earlier. "Hey, your parents still like me more than they do you, that counts for something, right?"

"And you still have me!" I pointed out. If Hyde was going to total up all the positives in his life, the best friend ever had to be included.

Hyde stared at me for several seconds. "You're useless to me." He said finally. "You're not good at anything." His tone and the smirk on his face let on he wasn't serious. Okay, so when it came down to it, maybe I wasn't bad at everything. I was okay with that. For the most part, I had even managed to make it through high school unscathed. There was a possibility that my father was actually proud of me, even though he'd never admit it. It was nice to know that in spite of how much he'd been complaining earlier, he'd still show up for my graduation.

I was so happy about realizing all of this, that I grabbed Hyde and hugged him. This was a special occasion, we were entering into the adult world, there had to be justification for a hug in there somewhere, right? Hyde didn't seem to think so. He swung my pillow, smacked me in the head with it, and knocked me off the bed onto the floor. It was a fitting beginning for our journey into the adult world.  



End file.
